A new concept has been defined within the dating world as “roaching“. The concept, or trend as News.au calls it, refers to when a person begins to meet a new person and secretly hides the fact that he is meeting a few more people.
According to the CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan Trombetti, it is called a “cockroach” when a person has a lot in common but does not share that fact with those they are meeting.
“This is based on the disgust that comes with these little bugs, you see one bug but you know that if you turn on the lights there are more,” she says.
Being a “roach” is not about passing on, but about deliberately hiding or being very ignorant when it comes to talking about your love life.
“You know you’re being ‘roached’ if you feel like the person is not right there for you and is very secretive about certain personal matters,” dating coach and radio host Damona Hoffman told The New York Post.
According to Hoffman, there are various warning signs that a roach is in the game, such as if a person takes a long time to reply to a message, changes your plans at short notice and does not answer the phone when you call out of the blue.
“The person will look after their phone very well, not have it connected to the car and have the messages switched off. Dating will always start and/or end at either of you’s homes, sex will always be a part or the main focus of the date because that’s all she wants. ”
But usually, the “roach” does not manage to keep this play going for long. “People who pretend to be dating apps are their candy store can only do so for a limited time. It’s inevitable that it will mess something up, burn out or even start to get feelings for someone,” says Hoffman.
As unattractive as the term “roach” is, it reminds us of the importance of communication and openness in relationships. “The roach reminds us to prioritize safe sex and to have open and honest communication with our partners about our expectations and desires.”