“Being a chain breaker can be lonely and many find it difficult when they discover they are one link in a long chain of trauma, complicity or abuse. They often feel like no one understands them. and are afraid to start setting boundaries.Often those who continue in such behavior find the chain breaker bored and miserable.Always rocking the boat.Always with opinions.Not as comfortable as before when he walked on tiptoe and kept the peace,” said psychologist Hulda Tölgyes in a Facebook post.
Chain breaker is an informal term for people who refuse to participate in toxic relationships, complicity and violence in families or other groups.
Hulda says working through trauma and within oneself often causes people to see unhealthy patterns around them that they no longer want to participate in or feel downright harmful to their health. So that’s part of the recovery to defend yourself.
“When chain breakers start setting boundaries, they get all kinds of reactions and are even seen as somewhat weird or annoying. If there’s been violence, there’s even a chance that the perpetrators will be even tougher than before in communication, or that people play the victim and act as if the chain breaker is the one creating the difficulties when in fact it is him pointing them out.”
Breaking the chain sometimes breaks ties or limits communication. Hulda says sometimes things can be worked out together, but it’s hard if people aren’t willing to look within, change their behavior and embrace respectful, healthy communication. According to her, having children is a great incentive to break the chain, but it’s not worth it.
“You just have to want to free yourself from the vicious circle of complicity and difficult relationships. Your life and your well-being matter, whether you have children or not. I know this is not an easy thing to deal with and I encourage you to take good care of yourself and seek help if needed,” says Hulda, who says she has met many chain breakers over the years. and of which she is proud.
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