A woman regrets asking her boyfriend about his sexual fantasy. Unsure if she can handle her response, she seeks a sex and relationship counselor The sun Dear Deidre, for advice.
“One night we were having sex and I asked him if he had any fantasies. He hesitated a bit and said I wouldn’t like his answer. I thought it was something adventurous, like having sex outside, or even using food in sex, so I insisted he tell me,” the woman explained.
“Hesitantly, he said, ‘Well, I really want to sleep with your sister.
That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” the woman said.
She is 24 and her boyfriend is 25. They had been dating for eight months and she thought their relationship was in the right place.
“I was speechless which seemed to have made him nervous and he couldn’t stop talking.” He explained that he found my sister attractive and even wondered aloud if she would be up for it. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” she says.
“I told him that if he ever slept with my sister, our relationship would be over.”
Called his sister
“I thought my sister had no idea, but my boyfriend hinted that he had had the opportunity to sleep with her at some point in the past. I called my sister and she admitted that he had suggested that they sleep together, but she refused it and found it awkward. She told me that she would never sleep with him, but how can I trust him? I have l “I feel like I’m not her first choice. Am I overreacting? I don’t know how to feel or how to handle it,” the woman said.
Not a harmless fantasy
Deidre responds and gives the woman some advice. “It often happens that men are attracted to their partner’s sisters because they are often similar in appearance or personality. We are all human and even if you are in a relationship, you are often attracted to other people. But when you’re committing to another person, it’s important that you don’t do anything about those feelings, and unfortunately that’s not an example of harmless fantasy,” she says and continues:
“He tried with your sister, which shows he was willing to cheat on you and has little respect for your relationship and your relationship as sisters.” When you don’t trust your boyfriend, you have endless worries. You already feel that you are not enough for him. You should never feel like you’re competing with other women, let alone your sister, when you’re in a healthy relationship.”
Finally, she encourages the woman to seriously consider whether she is considering a future with this man.
