American psychologists have refuted the prevailing idea that adultery makes married people remorseful. Generally, cheating does not lead to feelings of guilt and is an important part of a relationship, according to a study. published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Psychologists who study the problems of marriage often study the factors that contribute to the emergence of extramarital relationships. Thus, previous studies have been conducted that have found a relationship between a tendency to cheat and factors such as the desire for new sensations, the degree of affection, sexual orientation and others.
Scientists led by Dylan Selterman from Johns Hopkins University (USA) decided to find out the moral feelings of spouses after cheating. To do this, the scientists surveyed around 2,000 active users of the Canadian virtual dating service Ashley Madison, which focuses on people who are married or in long-term relationships but want to have an affair outside of marriage.
Participants were asked about the state of their current marriage, why they needed a side relationship, their own feelings when looking for an additional partner, and after infidelity. Respondents most often reported great love for their spouse and about half admitted that dissatisfaction with their sex life was the main reason for their infidelity. Other reasons were the desire to be independent and the desire for sexual diversity. Most infidelities have been committed because of “fundamental” problems in the marriage, lack of love or hatred of a spouse.
“In the media, TV shows, movies, and books, people who have an extramarital affair experience a strong sense of guilt, but we don’t see it in our participants,” the study’s author explained. . – Satisfaction rates after cheating were high – sexual and emotional satisfaction. And the guilt is low. This finding paints a more complex picture of infidelity than we had.”
According to Selterman, infidelity does not necessarily result from deep relationship issues. People are more likely to seek out side relationships, want to experience exciting new sensations, or lack a strong commitment to partners.
“People can cheat for completely different reasons. Sometimes they cheat, even when they’re in a really good relationship. We don’t see any evidence that people who cheat are associated with lower relationship quality or higher relationship satisfaction. lower life,” he said.
Scientists intend to continue studying the psychology of cheating among other participants, not among Ashley Madison users. “The main takeaway for me was that maintaining a monogamous relationship or sexual exclusivity, especially throughout life, is very, very difficult, and people take monogamy for granted when they engage with someone in marriage,” Selterman said. “People think their partners will be happy to have sex with the same person for the next 50 years of their lives, but many don’t. But that doesn’t mean every marriage is doomed, it means that infidelity can be a big part of a relationship.”
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