Ragnhildur Þórðardóttir, better known as Ragga nagil, discusses in his latest column on Facebook about emotional maturity, which Ragga says are skills and the ability to cope with life.
Emotionally mature people are in control of their emotions and reactions regardless of the circumstances. He takes responsibility for his own actions and can apply introspection to his own behavior.
Emotionally immature people, on the other hand, react impulsively with emotional outbursts. They have adult bodies but childish emotions. In fact, they took a break when they were children or teenagers in their emotional development.
They are the navel of the universe and make unrealistic demands of others to serve them.
Communicating or being in a relationship with such people leaves you like a spat out dog skin, completely drained of all energy and fragmented in your stress system.
Some signs that someone is emotionally immature.
* Externalizing negative emotions and blaming others for their own misfortune. Make your children, your spouse, your friends, your brothers and sisters responsible for the feelings they experience and that it is the duty of others to appease their negative feelings.
* Break the limits and repeatedly try to knock them down with all sorts of actions. They consider it a rejection if you say NO. You clearly don’t care enough about them to allow them free access into your life. Therefore, they will be offended and hurt if you ask for your privacy.
* The relationship is one-sided as they claim your time, attention and energy to listen and give advice, but never work the other way. If you talk about your life or share something, they talk about you, get ahead of you, change the subject because they don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with what other people are going through. When emotionally upset, they demand your attention, but don’t offer help when you need it. Because their empathy is ZERO.
* Conscious yourself to get your way. Bringing you guilt and fear and forcing you to do something that pleases them. Review EVERYTHING they’ve done for you and why you owe them. Or remember EVERYTHING you ever did to them and so now you have a chance to make up for it.
* Showing emotions through behaviors such as silence, ignoring, drowsiness, eye rolling, shutting down in a room instead of speaking calmly. Because they lack the skills necessary for healthy communication. Like toddlers, emotionally immature people expect you to know how they feel without having to say a single word.
* NEVER apologize. NEVER show humility or remorse in anything they say or do. It would be a sign of weakness that would shatter the already shattered identity. You always end up apologizing after an argument.
* Critics or comments are very poorly received and interpreted as a personal attack that is met with a dizzying defensive wall and a rock-solid counterattack. Emotionally immature people take care of their ego like Gollum with the ring and if anyone dares to say something that can possibly harm their worldview, they have everything up to ten. Emotionally immature people lack insight into their own behavior and behavior. You feel a noose around your neck and feel a choking sensation when interacting with such people.
* If you want or need to be in a relationship with emotionally immature people, you need to set clear boundaries and not budge an inch even if they are offended or try to put them down.
* If you’re going to have a conversation about how their behavior isn’t acceptable, it’s best to talk about yourself and how it affects your feelings.
*Encourage the person to practice self-cultivation as most often they are little broken souls who are constantly frustrated very often due to poor upbringing or childhood trauma. Self-cultivation lowers their stress levels and boosts their self-image.
*Seek a professional for tools to deal with their behavior. If the person doesn’t change their behavior and continues to emotionally abuse you, you need to protect your own sanity, say goodbye, and break off the relationship.
There is not just a quota for fish. There is also a quota on how many shenanigans you can tolerate.
Do you recognize any of them?
Are there emotionally immature people in your life?
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