Burnout, toxicity, resource scarcity – these terms have often become the heroes of memes lately. But, in fact, there is little humor here. All of these words refer to the concept of emotional intelligence – an important component of our emotional and mental state. Why it is difficult to succeed with low emotional intelligence and why change the environment tells Elizaveta Radina, certified trainer for the development of emotional intelligence, author of development programs and training for business teams, expert in the field of staff development and management.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
A few words about the concept itself. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize the emotions, intentions, motivation, desires of self and others and to manage them. That’s why it helps us achieve our goals, negotiate with other people, make decisions and react correctly to negative situations.
“In the modern world, emotional intelligence is simply indispensable. In recent years, we all live in a constant state of stress and there is no shortage of external challenges. It is therefore very important to monitor one’s emotional state, to develop one’s emotional intelligence and, thanks to this, skillfully cope with all negative situations and crises,” said Elizaveta Radina.
How do we determine that we have a person with a low level of emotional intelligence?
We live in society, among colleagues, friends, relatives and many other people with whom we must maintain relationships. This is why it is important to be able to recognize the signs of low emotional intelligence and to avoid close contact with such people. Because we can’t change them if they don’t want to.
Elizaveta Radina notes the following signs of a person with low emotional intelligence:
it is almost impossible to negotiate with him if he thinks he is right. The world is only black or white. “It’s easier to give than to explain that you can’t” (c); most often he is in a bad mood; he cannot intuitively feel that his words exasperate a person, put pressure on values, hurt a person. He does it from time to time, the conflict that started with a broken cup will definitely end with “yes, it’s because you’re like that!”. Any problem is transferred to interpersonal relationships, it is difficult for him to empathize or be happy for others. “Oh, I have a problem too” or “oh, yes, anyone can do it, it’s invisible” is a common reaction. You rarely hear from him a compliment or admiration for something/someone; it is difficult for him to establish social contacts, constant vigilance interferes with the formation of friendships; lives only by logic or only by feelings; lives from wear and tear, can work like a horse, then declare: “You don’t like me, I’m tired, I’m leaving”; it is of little interest. Work-home-TV-sleep-work. No hobbies, no burning eyes for anything. Off, tired of everything. Whatever is offered to him, that’s not it; to communicate with him without drama, you have to choose the right words so as not to offend him, to offend him, not to fall into disgrace; it seems to him that the others do not understand him, and that irritates him; he is quick to say “I don’t have to notice your feelings and mood swings”; often blames circumstances, people, parents, president for problems. Everyone except yourself. at the start, he says “we won’t make it”, in case of failure, “but I told you so”.
Is it possible to change something?
By the way, you can control yourself for the same reasons. If you found more than 5 points in yourself, you should pay attention to your emotional intelligence and, perhaps, reconsider some of your communication habits.
And you can start with simple exercises:
Make a list of things that give you pleasure and joy and write them in the plan for the week. It will bring you positive and reduce the negative towards the environment. A contented and happy person communicates in a completely different way than a tired and unsatisfied person. Gratitude technique. It works really well when it feels like everyone is getting something good, but for some reason it’s not. At the end of the day, write down a list of why today was a good day and to whom and what you are grateful for, after 10 days this will correct your worldview. Try to develop your emotional intelligence. It will make your life more harmonious, happier and more successful. Tested on myself!
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