She says they often send strange unsolicited messages and recalls an incident where a travel agent employee rudely crossed the line. She writes about it in a column on smart earth.
“Women in Iceland are generally independent and able to go to sea. That’s why I was quite surprised when I realized in 2015 how many men thought I was misbehaving about all kinds of services. and how many were offering to provide them unsolicited. In 2023, I noticed that the supply had rather increased. There’s also more social media, so it’s easier to offer your help,” she says .
Disposable sump
Ásdís goes over some basics of unsolicited communication, like if a woman declines a date invitation, it just means she doesn’t want to meet you, not that you should send her twenty more messages and buzz. She also says that the men often volunteer for tasks no one has advertised, such as “regular self-care” in the bedroom.
“When I get a random message like this from a man offering his services, I’m filled with ‘pride’. There’s a man out there who’s so turned on by me that he’s ready to use me like a disposable cistern. Wow, how lucky am I? A few thoughts go through my head. How many times does he do this kind of cistern dump? What am I going to see this month or if I’m really lucky, this week? I think he still has his security on the tip or maybe he has a skin and sex cut card? I guess I could get him a visitor pass then? she says.
Little chance of succeeding
Ásdís mentions several ways in which men can communicate with women. She says they are unlikely to succeed.
- Send friend requests with no explanation and never initiate communication. This probably won’t work unless the woman is so overwhelmed with the lack of sex that she’s texting you asking her to come over to his aid.
- Send a friend request with a word, such as hello, hi, day, etc. I always look at these posts and wonder what the plan is here. Should I respond to this and how should I respond to this? should I resend hi? FYI, I’m deleting these posts because I don’t want to spend time trying to figure out what the purpose behind the post is.
- Are you single / do you want company / are you bored / are you cute? This is a classic message that usually produces very few results.
- If men are really interested in getting to know a woman, they might splurge on longer messages like Hi, I think you’re an interesting woman, can I ask you out on a date? There are 2 possible ways
- She says yes and you meet and you never know what will happen
- She says no. The key here is to read the answer correctly. If she says no, she doesn’t say, by all means, send me 20 messages and I’ll give in and take you on a date. Extra tip: There’s no point in taking the candy store’s naughty kid on women and keep buzzing around until they give up. Most women my age are mothers and are used to dealing with a child throwing temper tantrums and not being able to buy candy. The last thing they care about is another child. Sending the same message week after week to check if anything has changed and if she prefers to see you in week 22 rather than week 21 probably won’t work either.”
Listen to the first no
Ásdís states that she considers about 95% of men to be excellent individuals who respect themselves and others. “Crossheads are the real exception and I’m all for them stopping texting.” I highly recommend listening to the first no and turning your attention to the next woman,” she says.
When people don’t listen to her when she rejects them, Ásdís has resorted to denouncing them.
“Women are polite to groups and often respond to posts like this with a politeness that many people mistake for interest and betray it.” I was in this group. Responded briefly but politely. However, I realized it wasn’t working well enough, so I decided to try another technique and see if it worked better. Upon receipt of the first No, I will send a simple warning to the person. Hi, just to be clear, I’m not interested and if you keep messaging me I’ll post them to my story and tag you. Sometimes the person in question is in a relationship and then you can offer him a double label, him and his partner”, she explains.
The employee has exceeded the limits
Ásdís travels a lot on her own abroad and sometimes books through travel agencies.
“Once after such a trip, I was getting out of my day bag when I found a letter at the bottom of the bag. It was written in English and was from a travel agency employee. The contents were that no one really liked me and really wanted to hear from me if it was reciprocated he gave me the WhatsApp number he also said if I don’t want to get to know him better please destroy the letter as it will was a serious offense on his part and he would likely lose his job if that happened,” she says and continues:
“There I was placed in a position that I was not interested in. The first thought that crossed my mind. I am not interested, better throw the letter away so that he does not have trouble. Then I started thinking about it more. The man went to my bag. He went through my stuff. He knew he wasn’t allowed to have this relationship. I was supposed to protect him even if it went way beyond all normal limits. Then common sense kicked in. I run a business and if one of my employees crosses a client’s boundary, I want to know about it. They don’t It’s not about that one person. And if he did it on a regular basis, and if I wasn’t an anomaly. So I decided to give the letter to the tour guide and leave the matter in his hands. This was not my shame to bear.”
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