After ten years of marriage, Carrie decided at the age of almost 40 that she was not happy in her marriage. The husband was not happy either and the couple tried to consult.
But when Carrie felt the advice wasn’t going to make a difference, she filed for divorce.
In an interview with Australian site Mamamia, Carrie, who is not her real name, said she thought it was better to end the marriage as soon as possible instead of prolonging the process. And just over a year ago, the couple broke up, which Carrie says was extremely difficult regardless.
But there was another problem. As in this country, housing prices in many parts of Australia soared and soon the ex-couple could no longer afford their respective homes. And until it gets better this year, they’re stuck under the same roof.
Cheaper to live together
The couple, who have two boys aged five and eight, discussed the matter and came to the conclusion that it would be financially beneficial for them to continue living together and that it would be easier for their sons than if their father was moving. get out immediately. .
It took a few months for Carrie and her husband to adjust, but in the interview this spring, she said that after several unsuccessful ideas, the couple had set strict rules that made cohabitation bearable and Good.
She says it’s very doable, but not for everyone. It helps that the divorce was amicable and that there was no adultery, violence or other such things in the marriage.
Never eat together
The couple not only have separate bedrooms, but they also make sure they don’t bump into each other in the kitchen and never eat together. Carrie says they’re actually divorced, so it’s ridiculous to be in a family game at the table. The boys take turns eating with them, but the family eats together four times a year, on family members’ birthdays. They don’t celebrate big holidays together.
Mine is mine and yours is yours
As the couple’s house is quite large, everyone has their own office and toilet. They make sure to cross paths as little as possible, if Carrie works at home, her ex-husband will work and vice versa. They note when everyone has access to the living room and the dining room, if one of them is expecting a visit from friends or relatives. The other then closes in on its own space or is extinguished.
No sex at home
It is not uncommon for separated couples to sometimes have sex, but this is strictly forbidden in the household. They don’t question each other’s love lives and aren’t allowed to bring boyfriends, girlfriends, dates, or co-sleepers to the doorstep.
Convenient to communicate
Carrie and her husband have decided that they will both have custody and that contact with their son will be cut in half when one of them moves out. So they take it in turns to take full responsibility for the boys and gradually teach their sons not to rush to the other parent, even if they all live under the same roof. Carrie says it prepares the boys to live in another house half the time when the time comes.
honest communication
Carrie says open and honest communication is key, but nothing more. For example, they have stopped eating together because neither is interested in maintaining the traditional family conversation when both have their own lives.
Carrie says they are also using the time to prepare and help each other. For example, Carrie always earned more than her husband paid the bills. So he went over with her in detail the finances, installments and other such things that Carrie was never close to. And vice versa, Carrie taught her former farmer this and what he will need to know later, especially when it comes to caring for children.
Opening with children
Not only does Carrie ask her sons questions, but their visiting friends as well. But openness is the best way, at least in their case. The former couple always have the exact same answers to the children’s questions, to avoid any misunderstandings, and Carrie says it’s a good time to prepare, as it will undeniably be difficult for the children to move between houses.
In the interview, Carrie also said that it was now the end of the relationship, it had been almost a year, but she would have preferred six to eight months.
But on the other hand, by only paying for one house for a year instead of two, it now happens that the cohabitation is definitely broken and everyone goes their own way.
And in his own private accommodation.
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