A French study carried out at the beginning of February 2024 by Ifop highlighted a clear decrease in the frequency of our sexual relations, while more than a quarter of young French people aged 18 to 24 have not had sexual relations this year. A survey carried out in 2023 in collaboration with MIS Trend, confirmed the same trend in Switzerland, showing that we have been making love less and less since the 2000s.
Note, however, that the same French research pointed to an improvement in the quality of sexual relations, to counterbalance the reduction in frequency: a positive note in a bitter observation.
Before listing ways to fan the flame, let’s remember that fluctuations in desire are normal ( as decreed in this guilt-free article from the “New York Times” ) and that it is absolutely not necessary to inflict any kind of stress on yourself. pressure in relation to this. However, if partners suffer from their lack of libido, if they wish to change their cruising speed, a few measures can be put in place to change things and take care of themselves. In the event of a sudden and unexplained absence of desire, never hesitate to contact a specialist, so as not to be left alone, rule out any possibility of a physical disorder, and allay any concerns you may have.
1
Play sports
According to Amelie Boehm, psychologist and sexologist living in Basel, physical exercise is always a good ally, to the extent that sport allows stress hormones to be metabolized more quickly and improves blood supply to the private parts. Even short training sessions can cause an increase in testosterone secretion. In women, estradiol is also increased. Both can have a sexually stimulating effect.
2
Ask yourself the right questions
In case of lack of desire, the expert recommends engaging in a little exercise of introspection, by meditating on a few specific questions. We can think about it silently or write down our ideas for answers in a notebook, like journaling, in order to better understand the situation and the possible problem:
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- Don’t I want to make love in general?
- Do I not want to make love with my partner?
- Is our sexual relationship not suitable for me?
3
Try solo sex
For Amelie Boehm, touching yourself can give a boost to your libido, whether you are in a relationship or not regardless of the relationship you have with your partner. Note also that we can obviously explore or discover our own sexuality at any age. Without forgetting that orgasm has several health benefits: oxytocin, nicknamed the love hormone, is then released in the body, while cortisol levels decrease. Orgasms can also lower blood pressure and, according to some studies, even alleviate migraines.
4
Dare to talk about it
Talking about sex or intimacy is not always easy, even when you have known the person for a long time. However, a respectful exchange of each other’s sexual fantasies and needs can allow us to get closer and strengthen mutual trust. As the sexologist notes, almost everyone lacks confidence when it comes to intimacy and no one can suspect what the other wants.
5
Take care of yourself
Stress is the biggest killer of pleasure: it is, therefore, all the more important to take time for yourself, to take care of your own mental health, before even thinking about sex. Whether it’s doing yoga, dancing, or walking in the forest, any relaxing habit can have a positive effect on the body. On the fitness side, a healthy and varied diet, as well as sufficient sleep, helps support libido and boost our daily energy reserves.
6
Being together, without pressure
Physical proximity, without going any further, can do good: Amelie Boehm advises rediscovering tender gestures such as snuggling against your partner, without the slightest expectation, simply to be together. This type of connection can also boost our oxytocin levels and reduce the pressure to make love at this or that frequency… Because after all, the main thing is that each person is satisfied, happy, and secure in the relationship.
